I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I've never been happier. I've never felt more alive. I find myself dreaming about my current life instead of the future. Right here, right now I'm doing what I should be.
A year ago I never thought I would find that happiness. I wasn't depressed or drinking every night (maybe that was my problem) but I was searching for happiness and trying to fill a void in both my profession and social life.
It's been 2 months since I've even touched my blog. Not because I haven't had random thoughts worth writing about but because I've been too busy living life. A year ago I was searching graduate programs and filling out paperwork for the Peace Corp. I was trying to figure out what would fill the hole I was feeling. A hole I thought would be filled with new knowledge, new people, a different set of goals or a three year commitment to a third world country. Today those thoughts seem like a decade ago.
My newfound happiness stems from various new relationships I've found myself in. Particularly, four relationships.
Relationship #1: Laura and IronKids
I have become married to work. They say that's a bad thing. I say, in my 25 years of existance it's the best relationship I've ever had. Definitely better than a cheater or a liar (I've had a bad history of trying to fool myself that those were good guys). If I were in a "real" relationship right now I'd be a horrible girlfriend. I'm on the road half the week and I only talk about my favorite adorable IronKids, inside crew jokes and funny Bill-isms. I only make time for social events on Wednesday night and Sunday when I'm not catching up on emails. And I usually spend those days with my co-workers. IronKids fills that hole with new challenges, responsibility and people that are like me.
Relationship #2: Laura and Michael
He really is my other half. In most ways we are quite opposite. I don't think we've gone more than 5 days without a disagreement. I need to work on being nicer to him. He needs to work on being on time. After an argument I want to run and hide from him and he wants to talk things through. In the last 5 months I haven't gone more than 7 days without seeing him or more than a day without talking to him. I wouldn't choose anyone else to be my other half in this IronKids adventure. He makes me appreciate the small things. He makes me think about relationships, the world, religion and people in ways I never have before. He makes me dream and realize that the world is a big place and the people in it are good and full of adventure. He's going to do big things because he's fearless, charismatic and thinks outside the box. He really is my other half at the moment and if I had the chance to hand pick that person it would be him. Every single time.
Relationship #3: Laura and Steve
Steve is one of the coolest guys I've ever met. I'm never bored with Steve. The only time we're not laughing is when we're trying to fight off a hangover. I really do feel like Steve is my summer boyfriend without the kissing and other gushy stuff. We do plenty of "dates" like drinks, dinner, movies and concerts. Did I mention drinks? Steve is that guy you've met that can make a group of strangers become best friends instantly and is the center of every party, meeting or group gathering. I will be sad when our "summer relationship" comes to an end. I'll see him now and then. And I am pretty positive I'll see him on the cover of AdWeek or Businessweek in 2015.
Relationship #4: Laura and herself
I've become quite selfish in the last year. I have put my sense of excitement and adventure before anyone else. I've missed birthdays and weddings this year (sorry peeps) for races, concerts or an afternoon by the pool. I've realized that once you decide to invest in a relationship with someone you love you have to sacrifice a lot of "me time" and I'm loving every minute of "me time" this summer. I've learned more about myself in the last year than ever before. I've never been more selfish or proud of myself.
Things can change quickly. Today I am going to live my life for my work and myself and enjoy it with my two favorite boys at the moment. At this time next year I'm sure I'll be in brand new relationships. Yesterday, one of the messages from church was to live for your faith--and that you can't find faith or God in experiences or science. I will take the experiences of dancing with good friends, exploring the MidWest with the IK crew, camping under the stars or day dreaming on a paddle board over finding myself routinely in a Middle School singing praises any day.
